|
BY RAJAN NARAYAN THE FILM ADJUDGED the best in the competitive section of the International Film Festival of India being held from 29th November, 2004 will be given the Golden Peacock Award. At the Inaugural of the Film Festival the jury of citizens of Goa and the residents of Panjim have decided to confer on Shri Manohar Parrikar, Producer of “IFFI in a Jiffy”, the coveted 'Vainest Peacock Award'. The residents of Panjim and the citizens of Goa have also decided to present a Special Citation to Shri Manohar Parrikar, Director, Producer and Choreographer of the IFFI in a JIFFY. A citation which will thank Shri Manohar Parrikar for bringing the administration to a complete halt for 10 days. By virtue of the fact that during the duration of the Film Festival all government offices will close at 4 pm. Which effectively means after lunch government offices will not function. The Confederation of Indian Industry and the Goa Chamber of Commerce and Industry who are signatories to the citation will express their deep sense of gratitude to Shri Manohar Parrikar for disrupting the functioning of their offices and their commercial establishments for ten days. By virtue of the fact that the government of Goa is likely to bully all private offices and business establishments to shut shop after lunch for the entire duration of the film festival. The employees will also felicitate him for giving them time off to enjoy the IFFI carnival. The Tiswadi branch of the Goa Medical Association will present a memento to Shri Manohar Parrikar, Producer and Director of IFFI in a JIFFY on the inaugural day of the International Film Festival of India. In gratitude for giving an enormous boost to the business of all medical practitioners in Panjim. Consequent to the fact that thanks to the enormous amount of dust raised by IFFI in a JIFFY, thousands of Panjimites and tens of thousands of residents from other parts of Goa and tourists visiting Goa have developed acute bronchitis and other respiratory problems. Orthopaedic surgeons in Goa will be presenting Shri Manohar Parrikar a Cast of a Leg in gratitude for sending them so many patients with twisted ankles and broken legs consequent to their falling into ditches and stumbling over barricades put up by the GSIDC and their contractors. The Automobile Spare Parts Dealers Association and all the garages in and around Panjim will be presenting Shri Manohar Parrikar a Golden Stepney during the inaugural function. In appreciation of the fact that thanks to the traffic jams and the dug up roads and the speed breakers intentional and otherwise they have witnessed a boom in their business. The Petrol Pumps Association will also present him a Petro Card. In gratitude for the boom in business caused by the fact that the vehicles which are compelled to stop and start innumerable times to cover a distance of two kilometres from the Patto bridge to Miramar has meant a huge increase in the consumption of petrol. The Association of Pharmacies has also decided to offer a giant floral bouquet to Shri Manohar Parrikar. In appreciation of the fact that sales of bronchial dilators, cough syrups antibiotics and other drugs have gone up steeply during the last six months. When the IFFI infrastructure was being put in place. The All Goa Cement Dealers Association has decided to erect a life-size concrete statue of Shri Manohar Parrikar. Business has never been as good for them as in the last six months. There is some debate however on whether they should erect a statue or give Manohar Parrikar a mobile cement mixer. Anil Counto will put up a statue of Manohar Parrikar at O Coqueiro to keep Charles Shobraj company. Fabricators of cement columns, tile manufacturers, grass carpet manufacturers and the iron and steel industry have also decided to join the felicitation function. They have also been major beneficiaries of IFFI in a JIFFY. Mr R K Jain, Chairman of INOX and Shishir Baijal, CEO of INOX have decided to commission film producer Bobby Bedi to make a film called “Manohar the Great” on the lines of Alexander the Great which will be the concluding film of the International Film Festival of India. The film will also feature Rajib Sen, MD of GSIDC and Sanjit Rodrigues, CEO of the Entertainment Society of Goa. The heroine will be Jayashree Raghuraman, the Secretary for Information. The villains will include Annand Madganvkar, Aarvind Bhatikar and Rajan Narayan. There will be an item number by Neelam Kapur, the Director of Film Festivals. The film is being made as a gesture of appreciation for building the multiplex complex and handing it over on a platter to INOX. The advisors to the film “Manohar the Great” will be Gujarat Flurochemicals which is the flagship of the INOX group. Unity Infraprojects Ltd. will be conferring the Infrastructure Award on Shri Manohar Parrikar for giving them Rs 24 crores to convert the toilet in the Old Kala Academy into an state-of-the-art Art Gallery. The award will bear the legend “ United we can loot and plunder the Government of Goa.” Simplex will be inaugurating the new bridge from the special IFFI jetty at the Kala Academy to the official residence of the Chief Minister in Altinho. So that the Chief Minister does not get caught in traffic jams on his frequent trips to the Kala Academy and the tarted up old GMC complex which houses the offices of the Entertainment Society of Goa. The Times of India Group will carry a full page advertisement on the inaugural day congratulating Manohar Parrikar and comparing his achievements with that of Phileas Fogg the Englishman who achieved the feat of going around the world in 80 days. In appreciation of being appointed the event managers for the International Film Festival of India. Never mind that the Times of India’s event management division still thinks that it is organising a Carnival and not an International Film Festival. Moving Images, which as far as we know is the only registered Film Society in Goa, will present Shri Manohar Parrikar an award for perpetuating the bad taste of film goers in Goa. Historically, the objective of the Film Festival has been to expose local residents to good cinema to wean them away from popular cinema. But since the Aam Admi in Goa will only get to see Shrek and Hum Tum and Gladiator and Mission Impossible. The Aam Admi will not get to see Quality films. The award will be called “ Parrikar to Pagal Hai” a variation of “Dil to Pagal Hai,” which is being screened on Miramar Beach. The Hoarding Association has decided to put up both static and mobile illuminated sign boards all over Goa and even in Mumbai and New Delhi featuring Shri Manohar Parrikarji in Superman attire with the catchline “Hum Honge Kamyab.” The migrant workers from Andhra and Karnataka and Maharashtra will present the Shahenshah a plastic pot and lota (mug) which they have been using for their abulations in the last six months on the river front next to the VVIP jetty. And GOAN OBSERVER dedicates this special issue to the Vainest Peacock of the Country. The peacock as we all know goes about strutting and brandishing its many splendoured plumes while the peahen does all the work. |
